Dear Reader,
It's been long time ago.
I'm looking for a high! I'm looking for where i feel i can rule the universe in this manic period. But instead i'm sad. I have some nice holiday to look forward to. But when i don't think about them, the sadness set me in again. Last night i could't sleep, i got angry with with myself why i not able to being fall sleep. So i lay in bed feeling horrible, and i just cried. I'm laying in the empty room, i need just my 'me time' to figure out.
Someone say in technical : When something is broken, you can see it so you can fix it. But when you can't see anything wrong...
There are so many small thing i can focus on, positive thing. But it is hard. It seem like every time i 'use' good thing to look forward to, some of it's energy get drained. I understand that's every thing can go thru. But i guess i will never completely go away. I will need to learn how to live with it. But it's hard when the sadness is taking up such a big part of my thought. I'm the person would never want to minimize that ongoing feeling of depression.
It's been long time ago.
I'm looking for a high! I'm looking for where i feel i can rule the universe in this manic period. But instead i'm sad. I have some nice holiday to look forward to. But when i don't think about them, the sadness set me in again. Last night i could't sleep, i got angry with with myself why i not able to being fall sleep. So i lay in bed feeling horrible, and i just cried. I'm laying in the empty room, i need just my 'me time' to figure out.
Someone say in technical : When something is broken, you can see it so you can fix it. But when you can't see anything wrong...
There are so many small thing i can focus on, positive thing. But it is hard. It seem like every time i 'use' good thing to look forward to, some of it's energy get drained. I understand that's every thing can go thru. But i guess i will never completely go away. I will need to learn how to live with it. But it's hard when the sadness is taking up such a big part of my thought. I'm the person would never want to minimize that ongoing feeling of depression.
